Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
