Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
