So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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