She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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