can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
