dude i'm inner monologue high
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
