yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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