I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Randomize
