**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
