i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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