can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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