Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize