I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
vagina is talking i cant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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