Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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