So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
