We're facebook friends in real life
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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