Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
