Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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