was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
