I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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