for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize