I hate all girls vehemently.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
