i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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