Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
