RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
