I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
