You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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