no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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