How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize