Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize