we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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