it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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