And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
