She's JV to your varsity
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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