operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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