is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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