I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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