This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
