2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize