I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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