I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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