Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
