My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
