Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
