you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
