and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
