I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
