i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
