So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
