he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's like a pop up book from hell.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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