I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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