I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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