lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
