Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
