I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I got inside last night via doggy door
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
