***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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