Sponge bath it is.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she pinky promised me she was 18
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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