when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
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