My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
handjob tips. give me some.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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