Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
