Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
