He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
