Can Purell be used as lube?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
