He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
